Best Friend Territory

Ashley: Ok girl, what is going on?!

Nicole: I just - I can’t. I can’t breathe. You know me. I’m calm, collected...

Ashley: Mmhmm. Mmhmm.

Nicole: Smart...

Ashley: Debatable. Book smart maybe.

Nicole: I never freak out.

Ashley: True.

Nicole: Well, I’m freaking out.

Ashley: Well, are you gonna tell me why?!

Nicole: Okay, okay. The thing is, when I tell you, you’re gonna freak out too and then... I just need you not to judge me -

Ashley: Girl, what is going on?!

(blurts it out)

Nicole: There’s a dead man in my closet.

Ashley: What’d you just say? Ashley opens Nicole’s closet door.

Nicole: There’s a -

Ashley: Oh girl, there’s a dead man in your closet! Ashley slams the closet door.

Nicole: Yes, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.

Ashley: What’s a dead guy doing in there?! You killed somebody?

Nicole: No, no, of course not. It was an accident.

Ashley: An accident?! But he’s dead. So you killed him?

Nicole: No, well, yes, he’s dead. But I didn’t mean to. I just - drove over him a couple times - Ashley looks at Nicole like she’s crazy.

Nicole: He was chasing me! With a knife! Look, I didn’t know who else to call.

Ashley: You call the cops!

(clears her throat)

Nicole: He was a cop.

Ashley: What?!

Nicole: But he was a bad guy! Look, it’s too long to explain. You’re my best friend. Can you help me? Please?

Ashley: Help you what?

Nicole: Move the body. Ashley takes a deep breath, trying not to get mad.

Ashley: Ooohh, there’s just some things that go beyond best friend territory.

Nicole: Remember I told you I’d never tell Jake that you cheated on him with that tall Australian -

Ashley: Shhh!! Quiet! You wouldn’t - Nicole gives Ashley a look. She would.